Sunday, August 30, 2009

A Futile Attempt

One Click is all it took for me to recall my lingering longing for you. It has always been there - at the back of my mind, at the back of all the baffling thoughts that has been constantly bothering my worthless days.

I saw everything. At some point, I felt the suffering that has been wrapping your soul. You have too much love for someone who could not, even just for a bit, look at you the way you look at her. You're trapped with illusions of being with her, shutting any possibility that maybe, there's someone out there who would do anything just for you to let her take care of you. I have seen your world for God knows how long. Your world is so different than mine. If it were not, I would not be here, writing my thoughts to you. I'm not even sure if you would be able to read this. Maybe you would someday, maybe you would not; it hurts me that I can't gather enough guts to tell you everything I want to tell you.

I want to tell you that I could be better than her if you let me to. I won't hurt you and treat you the way you should be treated. I would defy reason just to be with you. All I need is one chance to make you feel the way you're supposed to feel - loved, taken care of, and complete.

I recall we talked for a few times, laughed a bit, and shared stares. Funny how every time I see those eyes staring at me, I feel as if I could someday grasp that chance I have been persistently asking you of. Then again I realized, dreaming for you is like dreaming for a star in the palm of my hand - impossible.

When you passed by earlier...
I was a little bit puzzled as where I should put myself up.
Should I just really put these behind and say I am okay or will I stay and prove it to you that you are the missing piece in this puzzle?
You said this impeccably written feelings on the twenty eighth of August in 2009. How could I express my undying longing for you in a way that would make you understand? You are the missing piece in my life's frustrating puzzle. You are the one I need to fill my soul's emptiness.

I have always thought I have been searching for the unknown. Now I know, its you I have been looking for.

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